


The World’s Greatest Underachiever’s Greatest Achievements

by ALPHAwolf



Series: Dyslexic Drabble [1]
Category: Hank Zipzer - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, M/M, Secret Relationship, underaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: 'Okay, so let's pause. I should probably explain exactly how this whole thing between me and my McEnemy happened. I'll rewind back a few months, back to what I consider my greatest achievement. The day we almost got caught snogging on Miss Adolf's desk.'





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys hope you like something a little different than usual. I've never written a fanfic in first person before so my bad for any tense mix ups :D

They say third time lucky, but this is the fourth now and I have to admit I'm starting to lose confidence. Although, I'm not sure McSnobby is really worried about my confidence levels when he's trying so hard not to make any sounds that someone outside might hear. It's getting hard for me to be quiet too when he's thrusting so hard down my throat.

We don't have long till the bell, two minutes at best probably, but I'm determined. This time, even if it goes, I'm not letting him pull away. Not till he cums. Although, I'll admit it has been funny watching him fuss in his seat during class the last three times.

It's a tight space here in the broom cupboard, and dark, but we can't risk the boys' bathroom again. Not after Frankie almost caught us last week. It's hard to get five minutes away from him and Ashley. I put them both first of course, it's just difficult getting private time with McBlondey without anyone noticing. I mean we're only 15, I don't think many people would react well to us coming out of the closet together, both literally and metaphorically. Especially considering we're not legal for another year. What can I say? I'm partial to rule breaking.

A particularly rushed shove and he moans quietly, cock almost hitting the back of my tongue. Since he's holding my face, gentle as it is, I can't exactly pull away to breath, but I've gotten better at this. I know when to take a breath, how to suck, how hard, when to lick. You'd think it would be easy enough to get a horny gay teenage boy to lose his load, I know I do easy enough (the second time I tried sucking him off in fact).

"Fuck Zipzer." I can't help smile as his voice wavers. Almost there.

Okay, so let's pause. I should probably explain exactly how this whole thing between me and my McEnemy happened. I'll rewind back a few months, back to what I consider my greatest achievement. The day we almost got caught snogging on Miss Adolf's desk.

 

§

 

"Oi Zitzer!" I can't help groan at the familiar voice coming from behind me. Deeper than it was last year, but none the less annoying. The blond snob McKelty seems to radiate confidence as he swaggers towards me in the otherwise empty corridor, his usual smirk.

"What do you want McHairgel?" It's almost ridiculous how much he puts in. It must feel like a straw field if you were to run your fingers through. Something he does plenty of.

It strikes me as odd that he is alone, no giggling posse or silent brutes looming behind. I don't really have time to care though. I was supposed to meet Frankie and Ashley at the beginning of lunch in the library to start a group project, but I got held up talking to Mr Rock. Number one priority right now, get away from McPrefect without getting detention.

I flinch away as he gets a little closer than usual, but not far enough that he misses my arm. I'm suddenly being dragged by it towards the closest empty classroom. I tug away but his grip is firm and he hisses quietly at me to stop struggling before I'm flung into the devil's den. Miss Adolf's classroom. Could there be a worse place for McHothead to try start a fight?

The door shuts and he looks around quickly at the glass windows surrounding us. Deeming the coast clear his silvery-blue eyes set on me and a small smile is back on his lips. The kind of smile that makes my heart pound a little faster. I clench my fists in response, ready to throw them up and protect my face if needed.

"I think it's time we had a talk, Zipzer." He takes a step forward and I put a hand on Miss Adolf's desk to steady myself, refusing the natural instinct to back away.

"About what, McJerkface?" I bite back.

"Hannah." My face scrunches up in confusion and he seems to find it amusing, a grin breaking out over on his face as realization dawns upon me. Ohhhhh.

For those unaware, Hannah refers to the alias I took on whilst dressing up as a girl to clear my name not a year ago. During that time I did at one point lead McKelty on a bit, and I can't say I'm surprised he's out for revenge. He seemed really in to it, all too happy to hold hands and meet 'Hannah' in private. I won't lie, it was nice to see that side of McDouchebag for once, directed at me instead of some stupid idiot who actually says 'flick' as she flicks her hair over her shoulder. I mean who does that!?

"What about it?" It, her, that. It's hard to refer to an alias.

"I'm not gonna lie Zipzer," That's the second time he's called me by my actual last name, not the usual derogatory 'Zitzer' I've become so fond of. The second time in one conversation. That's got to be a record. "I'm a little bitter about it." He's getting closer and I have to grip the desk side to plant myself firm. He's not stopping, another step and we'll be barely a ruler’s length apart. Miss Adolf would have a fit if she knew her favourite student was breaking the thirty-centimetre rule.

"You should be more careful, not go trusting random girls you've never met before." I think he can tell I'm uncomfortable. There can't be any other reason for that self-satisfied smirk. He's looking at my lips I think, a foot span in front of me as I swallow uncomfortably. McA-hole's lips stretch around his perfect teeth and the soft pink bottom catches under the front of his top row. His expression's almost... Cheeky as he bites his lip, eyes flickering back up to mine.

"I've gotta say, " his voice is strong but quiet, and I feel like I'm going to have to swallow again soon. "God Zipzer," He says it almost like a gasp, "you in that skirt."

My face feels like it's burning. Even my ears feel hot. He's making fun of me, that grin on his smug face, I know it, but I can't stop my heart from jumping around like a bouncy ball in a box after you shake it.

I go to argue, play off my red face as unbridled furry, but he does something so unexpected my entire world stops. I'm certain my eyes can't get any wider, though all I'm able to see is the other's faultless skin and long blond lashes gracing his cheeks.

My lips-a-and his lips-together-like, smooshed. We're... Snogging.

Well fuck.

I didn't even notice my eyes fall shut, but now it's black and all I can feel are his lips against mine, his hands finding my hips, sliding up to my waist to pull me a little closer.

My first kiss, with McKelty. My worst enemy. A guy! I'm pretty sure it should bother me a lot more than it currently is, but I honestly don't know how I feel right now. McKelty is everything I fight against in life. All that is bad, evil and stuck up, but God, he can snog.

His lips have started to move, almost like they’re massaging mine, making them soft and a little moist. Before I know it I'm doing the same, slower in a more cautious manner. I think he's smiling, head tilted and pressing a little harder as he begins to use his teeth. He's biting at my lips gently, forcing me a step back against the desk behind. My butt presses against the edge but he's still getting closer, pushing our bodies together.

It hits me for a moment that his usually perfect appearance will probably get a little messy, tie looser and collar uneven, as I'm kind of tugging it to avoid falling back. It's not really working, in fact I think I might be encouraging him since my bottom lip is being eaten at this point.

Something wet drags across it and I make a kind of manly squeak, jolting back a little. His lips don't leave mine as my butt slides onto the desk top, seated with him kissing down on me. It almost feels like he's trying to get me on my back, or at least off balance. I open my legs a little so I don't roll off and he's immediately between them, hips against my inner thighs.

At some point my hands have slid to his nape and I can feel the beginnings of his hair. Hesitantly my fingers slide up through it. I can't help sigh. It wasn't like hay as I first assumed, but not smooth either. Just satisfyingly crisp beneath my fingertips.

McKelty has coaxed my lips open as he now looms over me, an arm around my back to keep me up at an angle as we slowly go down. I might have moaned at one point, but it's getting kind of foggy so I can't say for certain.

Something warm and moist briefly touches the tip my tongue and I think I might have twitched as I automatically retract from it. Was that his-? I can't help but shiver. Gross, but kind of... hot. For a second our mouths part and I can feel his breath on my now wet lips.

I don't have long to enjoy the emptiness in my head as I'm suddenly jolted, yanked off the table by my wrist and down to the floor. McKelty pulls me under the desk looking frantic, chest heaving slightly with a finger to his lips. I send him a questioning look as the door makes a quiet clunk. My back presses hard against the inside of the table and I mouth my worst fear in terror.

"Adolf?" He nods silently as black heels come into view. We both watch unbreathing as she seems to observe the class before sitting. Great, second time I've gotten trapped under Miss Adolf's desk. I can almost envision her suspicious expression, as if she's smelt something bad, observing the room with her hawk-like gaze.

I look at McKelty with narrowed eyes, trying to signal just how dead he is when we get out of this. He replies with his usual, what he must think is roguish, smile.

It seems like we're stuck sitting forever staring at each other, or rather him staring and me attempting to look away, before the bell goes and Miss Adolf stands. The second the sounds of her heels disappear, probably off to harass students, we both bolted out the class.

 

§

 

The very next day I found McKelty's number written on a docket of paper and left on my desk. It took a whole week before I managed the courage to call it. By then he'd already gotten impatient and pulled me aside twice to snog when no one was looking. From make-outs to dry-humping in a month it didn't take long before we'd been alone in the boy's locker room one day and he'd got me on my knees. Still I haven't managed to get an orgasm out of him. I've already lost it twice, once whilst sucking him off and at an earlier point dry-humping against the back-ally of the gym.

McKelty tugs at my hair and I'm forced to pull away, just as his breath catches, and something sticky hits my face. I blink in surprise up at his panting and flushed expression.

I... I actually did it? Wait, did he just-in my face?

As if sensing my thoughts, or maybe liking what he sees, the blond grins as I grimace. He makes no move to cover up his limp, average-at-best-sized cock, completely unfazed as I attempt to rid my cheeks and chin of the goop. A dollop drops onto my sweater and I swear, fingers sticky and messed like I've just cleaned out the batter of a cake mixing bowl with my hands. McKelty chuckles, finally doing up his pants and crouching in front of me. He passes me one of the janitor’s rags for my hands and laughs as I cringe, wiping the drop off my chest for me. It still leaves a white mark which I hope I'll be able to pass off as toothpaste.

He laughs at my expression as I finish cleaning off my fingers, which still feel gross, and I find myself laughing with him. Before the sound can die off naturally he leans in closer and presses our lips together, gentle and sweet. It's too soon when the bell interrupts. I groan and try to pull away, but his arms wrap around me.

"I have to go wash my hands." McKelty only grins, hand sliding down from my chest.

"Not just yet, Zipzer." His hand finds my crotch and I gasp as he palms the space. "I haven't rewarded you yet."

**Author's Note:**

> REMEMBER TO KUDOS! On a side note the whole 'flick' thing refers to one of McKelty's ex's from season 1 or 2 (not sure). She really fucking annoyed me.


End file.
